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HR Dictionary - Incidence

Fortunately or unfortunately in our profession, as in many others, the departments of Human Resources are not very clear at the time to explain how the job they offer. They use technical language and other tricks to convince you that your job is the best, and you should devote your time to your business. Since

after endless selection process, if after spending 5 telephone interviews, 7 interviews, and demonstrate how to do a handstand bridge while typing with the tabs, you'll have to spend much time on this job that I offered the Human Resources department, here I e provide a small table for you to understand better what they mean in the job that you present yourselves as candidates

.* * (This dictionary is based on personal experiences and may have some variation. It is open to your contributions in the comments)

What calls / tell HR?	What will it mean in our work?
Customer Orientation	No matter what the client asks you to install Windows Vista on a Pentium II, all the things you should ask it as impossible as it seems.
person Proactive	Your boss actually has no idea how pajolera is your job, and always think that you do it wrong. You better, although you never know if you are improving. Logically, you do not know.
own vehicle Desirable	Did we leave your car? Well, actually we have car cheap company. So cheap you're going to pay you. Do not complain, you get paid mileage, but you will not get or to gas.
benefits are offered	Come on, if you're lucky, you'll have health insurance, and even "restaurant checks." Not give you a menu or to pay, but ... it's cool to get to the restaurant checks?
Company expanding	For some strange reason we do not know (or rather, we do not know), has been a large number of people who have left our company at a time, and must be replaced. Fancy?
offer training	give you plenty of time management courses, as expressed to the phone, customer satisfaction, and other useless things so very interesting.
seek a dynamic / rotating shifts / 24x7	Well, actually what we want is that what your schedule is dynamic. Translated into reality, you know when you enter, but not when you leave, and no, that is NOT overtime. Do you like the computer, right? Then there will be no problem. Surely you do not have life beyond the computer.
seek a Computer Maintenance Technician	As I would explain it ... Here was a guy who gave us all those electric gadgets that we work with, but do not know exactly what they are good, and less like work, so I have to fix it everything. You say this thing is to shred paper? So that, if you are a computer will know to fix it, right? In short, if you plug it should fix you.
organizational capacity	We all turned upside down, and we want to keep it that way, and your must have the ability to organize in this disorder.
Knowledge in programming languages \u200b\u200b	If not look at me. Do not know what it is to program? What language? Well here we are talking old Castilian. You, what programs or programs?
Extensive knowledge of new technologies.	Yeah, yeah, here we use the latest systems have come on the market. Windows 3.1 and 486 DX processor. The Ultimate hear.

Incidence